well. goodness, i'm depressed. it's not exactly depression - it would be more accurate to suggest that i'm just throwing one hell of a pity party. i've holed up in my little cottage all week and done lots of drinking (by myself mostly). last night i fell asleep in bed with an empty bottle of wine and "Four Weddings and a Funeral" playing on repeat. it was pretty awesome.

i'm broke and lonely and ... lonely. i want to find out if i've gotten into uva. i want to go to my nia training. i want to go backpacking next weekend. and i especially want to have someone to do all those things with (or at least someone to call afterwards).

mom says i just need to get back on my meds and i'm starting to think she's right. but i've got to find a doctor here first and that sounds like a huge pain in the ass.

i'm going to go read crime and punishment (although i know it's a little early to be wallowing in russian angst - damn, i miss dw) and listen to a sad-ass playlist i made today.

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